Because I never intended this to be Regina’s medical blog, although I’m sure it’s going to seem like that sometimes. I do have four other kids, though! And they’re pretty
My bulleted list of things my children think that I am capable of accomplishing while operating a moving vehicle:
- Put their shoes on after they have “fallen” off of their feet and/or tie their shoelaces
- Hand them snacks and drinks
- Pick up a toy that they have dropped or their sister has stolen and return it to them
- Keep their sister from putting her leg or arm on “my side”
- Solve disputes with all of my idle threats (because I really won’t remember to put them in time out once we get back home and pulling the car over would entail that we be even more embarrassingly late than we already are)
- Cloak the sun whenever it gets in their eyes
- Make an intelligent and thought-provoking remark about every cloud, tree, building, and pet they see as we drive rapidly by them.
- Drive faster than sports cars
- Pass right through traffic and red lights like a ghost-mobile
I have been able to successfully pass the time in the car with them by telling them Bible stories in my best dramatic storyteller voice. However, it does give rise to some bizarre conversations later. So far, we have only made it through Genesis and Adam and Eve (Noah is next). I must have been describing the first marriage a bit too literally for them, because Ruth went up to my dad announcing that Scott and I “are one flesh.” Ruth then paused and conspiratorially asked Dad if he knew what the word “flesh” meant. Dad humored her by asking her what it meant and she swallowed hard in preparation for giving him the unpleasant news and intoned, “skin.” Needless to say, I had some ‘splaning to do.