You Might Be a Catholic Mama If . . .

1) You are consistently frustrated that no one makes “Big Brother/Big Sister” baby onesies.

2) Going to mass is like preparing for battle. You must be armed with distracting yet quiet yet religious toys. And you still haven’t been able to pay attention to a whole mass in years.

3) You attend your children’s baptisms in a fairly large dress because you’ll be damned if you’re still wearing a maternity one.

4) You have more maternity clothing than normal clothing.

5) You chuckle inwardly every time a couple announces that they are planning on getting pregnant sometime soon because all of your pregnancy announcements have been “Crap, am I pregnant again?!!”

6) You are fairly certain that “crazy lady that won’t take birth control, refuses all genetic testing during pregnancy, and is under the delusion that she wants more than three children” is written in your file at the OBGYN’s office somewhere.

7) You’ve said more rosaries since having kids than you did your entire life prior to having kids. You know all of your kids’ guardian angels intimately and by name.

8) Mary watching her son suffer the Passion has taken on a whole new meaning to you. (“Pierced by a sword” indeed!)

9) Your response to “wow, your kids are close in age” or “how many kids are you going to have?” has become: “I’m very Catholic.” It’s just quicker that way.

10) You get PMS before your period, and your husband gets it a week or so after.

11) You panic if your toddler gets ahold of the holy water. “Wait! Don’t drink that! It’s from Lourdes!”

12) When people try to tell you that you’ll be bored being a stay at home mom when the children reach school-age, you assure them that you will probably have another baby to take care of by that time.

13) You sometimes feel like you might be more excited about your children’s First Holy Communions than you are about their weddings.

14) When people see how many daughters you have and start getting anxious for you about “all those weddings” you can shock them into silence by stating that perhaps they will all become nuns.

15) You’re not sure if you’ll ever be able to sell all of your baby stuff, because by the time you will have your “last baby,” it will probably all be unusable or you will be having grandchildren soon.

We Catholics tend to be in the minority here in the South, so cheers to being dramatically different than your typical family paradigm, and loving it!
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18 thoughts on “You Might Be a Catholic Mama If . . .

  1. Ariana

    Is #10 an NFP reference? 😀 Most of my friends think we’re stupid for not using BC. (Two people have given me some, and others have offered…. We’ve only had one baby so far!)

    1. sylvia.hobgood@gmail.com

      Yes! I know, people are so contemptuous of not using BC. It’s silly. My OBGYN’s office is constantly rolling their eyes at me. But I wouldn’t have it any other way! So glad more and more people are using NFP these days!

  2. Justine Rauch

    I can’t believe I just found this post now. This is hilarious!!! Yes to all of these things, especially the notes at the OB office… We’ll have 3 under 3 and we had tons of those comments today. I am 100% going to start using the “I am very Catholic” line ha ha ha!

  3. cheryl

    LOVE IT! We are episcopal now but were both raised catholic so a lot of these carry over for us. We have a boy and girl so people always say “So youre done, right?” and I just smile and say “Oh Lord, I hope NOT! We want an army” That usually politely reminds them to mind their own business
    😉
    Sometimes my husband will just say “We keep washing our underwear together!”

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  5. coffeemugsandsippycups

    Wait, is this a pregnancy announcement?? 😉 I’m not Catholic but can relate to many of these. We have six kids and live in a predominant Catholic area so we don’t look that out of place when we are out and about. 🙂

    1. sylcell Post author

      LOL, not yet! You must blend in so much better than we do. I only have three and people around here think we are the weirdest. I need to move over by you;)

  6. Heather

    Oh this is awesome!! I’m not Catholic, I was raised Baptist
    , married and became Pentecostal, and now we are very untraditional very contemporary Methodist!! But these statements are very true of me….when people ask how many kids we want (we have four now) I’ve always wondered what to say! I’m just gonna start saying we are practicing Catholicism!! Thanks for this little chuckle this morning!

  7. Alana

    Oh my heavens this is hilarious!!!!! #1 was so disappointing for me. I looked everywhere. #3 for my daughter, I wore a mat dress. For my son, I did the extra big clothing inking I’d look less frumpy….. Didn’t work that way. #5. I want to ‘try’ for our next just so we know what it’s like!!!
    Okay, I’m going to stop now, but bravo on this post!!!!

  8. Ashley

    Oh how I love your blog! Haha! I’m actually mormon but the far majority of these can apply to us too. Too many random strangers to count have asked after seeing the tornado of small ones surrounding me “mormon or catholic?” including several obgyn’s. Love this! Aren’t big families such a joy?

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