1) You are consistently frustrated that no one makes “Big Brother/Big Sister” baby onesies.
2) Going to mass is like preparing for battle. You must be armed with distracting yet quiet yet religious toys. And you still haven’t been able to pay attention to a whole mass in years.
3) You attend your children’s baptisms in a fairly large dress because you’ll be damned if you’re still wearing a maternity one.
4) You have more maternity clothing than normal clothing.
5) You chuckle inwardly every time a couple announces that they are planning on getting pregnant sometime soon because all of your pregnancy announcements have been “Crap, am I pregnant again?!!”
6) You are fairly certain that “crazy lady that won’t take birth control, refuses all genetic testing during pregnancy, and is under the delusion that she wants more than three children” is written in your file at the OBGYN’s office somewhere.
7) You’ve said more rosaries since having kids than you did your entire life prior to having kids. You know all of your kids’ guardian angels intimately and by name.
8) Mary watching her son suffer the Passion has taken on a whole new meaning to you. (“Pierced by a sword” indeed!)
9) Your response to “wow, your kids are close in age” or “how many kids are you going to have?” has become: “I’m very Catholic.” It’s just quicker that way.
10) You get PMS before your period, and your husband gets it a week or so after.
11) You panic if your toddler gets ahold of the holy water. “Wait! Don’t drink that! It’s from Lourdes!”
12) When people try to tell you that you’ll be bored being a stay at home mom when the children reach school-age, you assure them that you will probably have another baby to take care of by that time.
13) You sometimes feel like you might be more excited about your children’s First Holy Communions than you are about their weddings.
14) When people see how many daughters you have and start getting anxious for you about “all those weddings” you can shock them into silence by stating that perhaps they will all become nuns.
15) You’re not sure if you’ll ever be able to sell all of your baby stuff, because by the time you will have your “last baby,” it will probably all be unusable or you will be having grandchildren soon.